How do I open the money conversation, and how far may I probe about income?

Start with a simple question: how would you describe your own spending habits. And know in advance that right after the answer the same question will be put to you, so prepare your own wording. Typical answers she lists: baruch Hashem, I am good with money; I am frugal; I don't think about money; I keep a careful budget; I manage money badly and expect my spouse to handle it. Then there is a frame: asking what role you will play in the family's income, that is, whether you will work, is appropriate; demanding a ten-year plan, specific annual salaries and the structure of bonuses is not. It is also appropriate to ask what the person expects from you financially.

“they are probably going to ask you the same thing after they answer”