What mindset should I bring to the first date?different viewsask your rav
The sources suggest a realistic approach to getting acquainted, full attention to the opportunity in front of you, and a spiritual picture of commitment that comes before the meeting itself.
She advises keeping expectations realistic and not giving the first impression too much weight, concentrating instead on the meeting itself and managing the nerves. Dating is a process of discovery, not perfection. Be yourself, enjoy the meeting and come to it with an open mind; awkward moments happen, and it matters not to take yourself too seriously.
“dating is a process of discovery, not perfection”
She suggests going in with the thought of a possible future spouse, and not comparing with other proposals for now. That, in her view, is what gives the acquaintance a real chance. Her formula of bitachon: Hashem will not let you miss your bashert if you date properly.
“Hashem will not allow you to miss your bashert by dating properly”
In his reading of Rivka's story he connects her recognising Yitzchak with her consent to the marriage before she had met him. By virtue of having so completely bound herself to him beforehand, her soul was able to recognise him. This is an explanation of one specific image of commitment in Tanach.
“By virtue of having so completely bound herself to him beforehand, her soul was able to recognize (know) him”
