5 Things the Rebbe Advises Before Starting Shidduchim
Building a spiritual foundation for a future Jewish home
A firm decision about the home's foundation. Before looking for a partner, make an inner decision: my future home will stand on Torah and mitzvot. The Rebbe emphasized: “This is the most critical thing. In our times, the foundation must be illuminated by the ‘lamp of Torah’ — Chassidus” (Igros Kodesh, vol. 13, p. 89).
Daily tzedakah. “To speed up the process, one should commit to giving a coin to charity every weekday before morning prayer” (Igros Kodesh, vol. 7, p. 190). Special attention should be given to supporting needy brides (vol. 16, p. 180).
Checking tefillin and mezuzos. A person's spiritual safety is directly connected to the condition of the sacred parchments. The Rebbe advised checking tefillin if they have not been checked in the last 12 months (Igros Kodesh, vol. 23, p. 73).
Daily Chitas and Tehillim. The Rebbe encouraged keeping daily study sessions of Chumash, Tehillim, and Tanya, and on Shabbos adding at least one chapter of Tehillim after prayer (vol. 7, p. 190).
Trust in Hashem. Success in shidduchim is often compared to the Splitting of the Sea. Strengthening bitachon helps a person move on the right path (Igros Kodesh, vol. 8, p. 219).
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