Do the chassan and kallah give tzedakah before the wedding and on the day of the chuppah — when, how, and why?
The chassan and kallah are advised to give more tzedakah than usual in the days before and after the wedding, and on the day of the chuppah, to give from their own money, through a pushka or a gabbai — ideally first thing in the morning, or failing that before the chuppah, or as soon as they remember. Family, friends, and the shadchanim add their own donations in the couple's merit, and some set aside tzedakah for a poor person marrying off a child on that same day. The custom is explained by the idea that the chassan and kallah are like a king and queen, and by the merit of tzedakah for the blessing of the family and its descendants.
The Rebbe advises both the chassan and kallah to increase their tzedakah in the days right before and after the wedding, and on the day of the chuppah to give from their own money through a pushka or the gabbai of an institution. It's best to do this first thing in the morning; if that isn't possible, sometime during the morning, or at the latest before the chuppah, and if it's completely forgotten, as soon as it's remembered. A separate instruction mentions additional tzedakah before Mincha. At a general yechidus, the Rebbe would give chassanim and kallahs a dollar for morning tzedakah, adding to it from his own funds; donations in their merit were also suggested for parents, brothers, and sisters. He ties this custom to the blessing of the preparations, the wedding, and married life. He advises both the young man and the young woman to give more than usual on the eve of the wedding, preferably early in the morning, through a pushka or an organization. If there wasn't time, it should be done later, at the first opportunity; parents, relatives, friends, teachers, and shadchanim also add their own donation along with their good wishes.
“It is best for the chassan and kallah to give tzedakah first thing in the morning.”
In the explanations cited here, the chassan and kallah are compared to a king and queen, and royal generosity implies helping those in need. Another spiritual explanation, including one from the Yalkut Me'am Lo'ez, ties the merit of tzedakah to prayer for a healthy pregnancy and living, healthy children; an interpretation of neighboring verses in Tehillim is brought in support. This is an explanation of the custom's meaning, not medical protection and not an explanation for pregnancy loss. Savitz also cites the Talmudic teaching that tzedakah is the primary fruit of a fast day.
“So that he and his wife merit living, healthy children.”
On the day his own child gets married, he sets aside tzedakah for a poor person who is also marrying off a child on that very day. He considers it a good practice to do this both in the week before one's own wedding and in the week after it.
“One should give tzedakah to a poor person who is marrying off a child on that same day.”
