The Price of "Brooklyn Glamour"

"I work in IT security, and I have a stable income that's very decent for my age. I can rent a good apartment on my own and fully provide for a family. But when I entered the shidduch market, I realized that my honestly earned money was "not enough" for the community.

The parents of the girls I was set up with started, from the very first day, sizing up my potential by the standards of the local elite. A shadchanit told my father outright: "Eliezer is a good guy, but he doesn't have a stake in a major business, and his family can't guarantee buying a house without a mortgage. Girls from high-status families nowadays want a certain standard of living right away: designer clothes, a Pesach vacation in Miami, a prestigious neighborhood." I'm evaluated not by my character, not by how I treat a girl, and not even by my religiosity, but by my ability to instantly provide a luxurious lifestyle. The system has cultivated a cult of material consumption in a whole generation of brides, and if you're just an honest, working guy, they hint that you haven't risen to the level of their demands."