Returning to an Empty House

"I was widowed three years ago, left with two little daughters. When the pain eased a little, I realized my girls need a mother, and I need a life partner, and I decided to go back onto the dating market. There I ran into an invisible but very solid wall.

Young women with no prior marriage experience (even those over 30) refuse to meet the moment they hear the phrase 'two children.' Their mothers are terrified that their daughters will become 'free nannies' for someone else's kids and get bogged down in someone else's household. Matchmakers offer me exclusively women with difficult personal histories or those significantly older than me. But I'm full of energy, I have a successful business in Los Angeles, I provide nannies and household help. My children aren't a burden or 'baggage' — they're wonderful, well-raised girls. It's very painful to see how a community that pays such lip service to mercy and to helping orphans, in practice gets scared of real responsibility and steers clear of my profile."