The "Extra" 7 Kilograms

"I have a normal build — I wear a standard medium size, I have no health problems, I'm active and I walk a lot. But on the shidduch market in Detroit I suddenly felt like "defective merchandise."

My shadchanit looked at my fresh photos for the profile, sighed heavily, and said: "Leah, your face is beautiful, but your silhouette is too heavy. Guys these days want to see slight, delicate girls. You urgently need to lose at least 5–7 kilograms, otherwise your profile will just sit there as dead weight. And change your style of dress — wear only black, it's slimming." I left her office, got in my car, and burst into tears. Since childhood we're told that the most important thing in a Jewish girl is her soul (Neshama) and her inner light. But in practice you're judged with a cynicism that modeling agencies would envy. Because of this pressure I developed a terrible eating disorder, constantly counting calories before every dating season. I want to be loved for who I am, not for the numbers on a scale."