The Shattered Template

"In yeshiva they told us a lot about the ideal Jewish home (Bayit Ne'eman). In my imagination a clear, almost crystalline image of my future wife took shape: quiet, always calm, speaking exclusively in a soft voice, occupied only with spiritual and household matters.

My bride turned out to be a girl who completely overturned that template. She is incredibly lively, emotional, she has a wonderful sense of humor, she can laugh out loud and adores debating intellectual topics. After the first meeting my mother was in shock: 'Baruch, she's too expressive, she doesn't fit our family's standards!' At first I myself was terribly tense and tried mentally to 'whittle' her down to fit my inner ideal. But then I watched how sincerely she cares for people, how much genuine, unfeigned kindness and honesty she has. I realized that my 'ideal' from the lectures was just a lifeless picture, a robot. The real person turned out to be far deeper and better. Our marriage is the demolition of my stereotypes, and it's the best thing that ever happened to me."