The Illusion of Choice in the Virtual Showcase

"I caught myself developing a terrible psychological defect over two years of participating in the large digital shidduch databases. It's the paradox of choice. When dozens of new profiles with perfect photos and résumés scroll past you on the screen every week, your brain starts acting up like a child in a toy store.

Recently I met a wonderful girl. She was smart, deep, our values matched. But after the second date I caught myself thinking: 'Yes, she's good... but what if someone even better shows up in the database next week? A little prettier, a little younger, from a more prestigious family?' And under the influence of this illusion of endless choice, I closed the shidduch. A month later I realized what a foolish thing I had done. The digital databases create a false sense that the pool of people is limitless. We stop valuing the living soul sitting in front of us, because we've gotten used to scrolling and searching for the perfect upgrade. The system turns us into cynical consumers who lose the capacity for real attachment."