A Sacrifice for Someone Else's Ambitions

"My husband is a gifted avreich (a Torah scholar) who spends all day in the kollel. Before our wedding in Chicago, I agreed to this model: I sincerely respect the Torah and wanted my husband to learn. I took a good job at a marketing agency to support us.

But reality turned out to be far harsher than the beautiful lectures about 'the wife of a righteous man.' I slave away nine to ten hours a day, come home dead from exhaustion, and on top of that there's the cooking, the cleaning, and the grocery shopping. My husband comes home in the evening saying he's spiritually drained after grueling debates over the Talmud, and lies down on the couch. His family looks down on me, reminding me that I am 'obligated to protect his peace for the sake of his great mission.' When I hinted to my husband that things were hard for me and that perhaps he could take on a part-time job for a couple of hours a week, he was offended and accused me of lacking faith (Emunah). I feel not like a beloved wife but like a sponsor of someone else's spiritual comfort, whose own strength and needs concern no one."