The Caste System for Baalei Teshuva

"I did teshuva (returned to the faith) 12 years ago. I completely changed my life: I studied in yeshiva, changed careers, moved to a religious neighborhood in Baltimore, and I'm kosher down to the smallest detail. But on the shidduch market I still feel like a second-class person.

Recently a shadchanit offered my profile to a family that has been religious for many generations (FFB). I liked the girl very much based on her description and values. Her father's reply was like a slap in the face: "The guy is wonderful, but we can't take the risk. He has secular parents, his childhood was spent in a different environment, who knows what habits he still has. We need predictable genetics." And this happens constantly. If you're a Baal Teshuva, the system automatically suspects that there's a hidden rebel or a "spiritual illness" sitting inside you. They're happy to praise us at lectures for our choice, but when it comes to giving us their daughter, the doors close."