The Eldest Daughter's Trap

"There are seven children in our family, and I'm the eldest. By the unwritten rules of our community in Montreal, the younger siblings can't enter the shidduch market until the oldest child is married. And this has become a real curse for me.

I'm 27. The search has dragged on, there were many failed meetings. And now I feel the heavy, suffocating gaze of the whole family on me. My younger sister is already 24, she's beautiful, and everyone is eager to start looking for a husband for her, but they're all waiting for me. Every time another shidduch falls through, my mother looks at me with such unspoken resentment and reproach, as if I'm deliberately ruining my younger sisters' lives. This past holiday my father hinted that it was time for me to "lower my standards and accept anyone who's offered" so as not to hold up the line. It's terrible psychological pressure. I feel like a criminal simply because I can't meet the right person, and a marriage born out of guilt toward my family would destroy my life."