The Secret in the Medical File

"I have Type 1 diabetes. I've lived with it since childhood, I keep my sugar levels fully under control, I use a modern pump, I play sports, and I work as a financial analyst in Boston. The illness in no way prevents me from living a full life.

But on the shidduch market, diabetes turns into a death sentence. At first my parents honestly tried to list it in the 'health' section. The result? Dozens of automatic rejections without anyone even trying to look at my photo. Families are in a panic about 'bad genetics.' The shadchan told us point-blank: 'Listen, don't be idiots. Don't write anything. The guy looks great, he has a job. You'll tell the girl yourselves once she's fallen for him — say, on the fifth or sixth date.' Now I go on dates and feel like a fraud. I hide the pump under my shirt and I'm afraid to order tea with sweetener one too many times, so as not to raise unnecessary questions. The system forces people to conceal obvious things, turning an ordinary medical condition into a shameful secret."