Marriage as an Escape from My Parents

"My father is an incredibly authoritarian man who controlled my every step, every cent, and every friend. At home I could barely breathe. For a religious girl in our community in Toronto, the only legitimate way to break out of that home prison was a shidduch.

When the first more-or-less suitable candidate came along, I grabbed onto him like a lifeline. On the dates I didn't really examine his character — I didn't care what he was like. The main thing was that he lived in another city and had his own apartment. My brain was screaming: "Agree to the wedding, and you'll finally be free!" We got married. And only a couple of months later did I realize what a trap I had driven myself into. I fled my father's control to a man who turned out to be deeply indifferent, cold, and selfish. I traded one prison for another. Girls, never use a shidduch as a way to escape your parents' home. First you need to find inner independence, otherwise you won't choose a husband — you'll choose a new warden."