The Domestic Shock of a "Holy Man"

"On dates in hotel lobbies, my future husband seemed to me like an angel in the flesh. He'd talk for hours about Torah, quote the sages, and he had incredibly pure and elevated eyes. I was sure that with such a spiritual person, our home would become a branch of paradise.

Reality set in a week after the wedding in Cleveland. It turned out this 'angel' was utterly helpless and lazy at home. He had never once in his life held a mop, he sincerely doesn't understand that dirty clothes go in the hamper rather than thrown in the middle of the room, and he can leave an empty milk carton sitting right on the table. When I gently asked him to help me with the cleaning, he was genuinely surprised: 'Noam, my job is to learn and to pray, and the household is your woman's territory — that's how my mother always did it.' My elevated feelings melt away a little more each day as I gather his dirty things from around the apartment. Girls, test the guys on whether they can live independently, otherwise you'll marry a spiritual giant who in daily life turns out to be a three-year-old child."