The Price of Mom's Approval

"I'm 28 years old, and I almost destroyed my most promising relationship because I didn't know how to say "no" to my mother. In our community a parent's authority is unquestionable, but sometimes it crosses every line. I was dating an incredible girl from Philadelphia. Smart, sensitive, deep. We went on three dates, and I knew: she's the one.

But after the third date my mother put me through an interrogation. She didn't like that this girl's mother had a "too modern" style of dress, and she decided that the family's standards of observance weren't strict enough. My mother started wearing me down every single day: "Natan, she's not for you, her family will pull you away from your devotion, you'll suffer." I gave in to that panic and closed the shidduch through the shadchanit, without even explaining the reason to the girl. A year went by. I went through dozens of profiles, went on a pile of empty dates, but I still couldn't forget her. A month ago I started therapy to finally set boundaries with my mother. The bitterest part — that girl is already engaged. I lost my happiness simply because at 28 I was still a little boy waiting for his mommy's approval."