Profiles and Dates: Practical Help for Young Singles

Young singles often worry about two things: how to fill out a profile correctly and what to talk about on dates. In reality, in both areas the key is not impressiveness, but clarity and honesty.

How to fill out a profile

References matter most. One trusted reference can be worth more than ten unfamiliar names.

Honesty about age. Intentionally lowering one’s age is not “marketing.” It is a violation of the Torah’s demand to distance oneself from falsehood.

Goals matter more than hobbies. Hobbies are pleasant, but the shadchan and the other side care more about what kind of home you want to build and what will guide your daily life.

What to talk about on dates

A first meeting is not an interrogation. Its purpose is to ask whether you would like to see the person again, not to deliver a final verdict on your entire future.

When small talk runs out. At a later stage, the discussion should move from past details to future life: how the home will function, the role of Torah and mitzvot in daily life, and expectations around responsibilities.

The Rebbe’s words about decision-making. In the end, no one can provide the final answer in place of the person involved. The heart must recognize whether there is a path here.

Practical takeaway. A good profile reveals direction. A good conversation reveals the person. Together they save months of confusion.